July 1, 2024

Breaking Through the Barriers: How Conditioning and Beliefs Hinder Us from Asking for Help

BY Marc Mathys
In an era where self-sufficiency is often glorified, the simple act of asking for help can feel like an insurmountable challenge. Many of us have been conditioned to view independence as a hallmark of success, leading to deep-seated beliefs that hinder our willingness to seek assistance. 
This blog delves into how our programming and beliefs shape our reluctance to ask for help and offers strategies to overcome these barriers. 
The Roots of Reluctance: 
Conditioning and Beliefs 
1. Cultural Conditioning: From a young age, many of us are taught to value independence. Phrases like “stand on your own two feet” and “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” reinforce the idea that relying on others is undesirable. This cultural conditioning ingrains the belief that asking for help is a weakness. 
2. Family Dynamics: Our upbringing plays a significant role in shaping our attitudes towards seeking help. In some families, self-reliance is emphasized to the point where asking for assistance is discouraged. This can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy when we consider reaching out. 
3. Societal Expectations: Society often rewards those who appear to have it all together. The pressure to maintain a façade of competence and control can make us hesitant to admit when we need help. We fear being judged or perceived as less capable. 
4. Personal Beliefs: Our internal belief systems, shaped by past experiences, also influence our behavior. If we’ve been let down or judged in the past when asking for help, we may develop a belief that seeking assistance is futile or risky. 
The Consequences of Not Asking for Help 
1. Increased Stress and Burnout: Trying to handle everything on our own can lead to chronic stress and burnout. This can negatively impact our mental and physical health. 
2. Stunted Personal Growth: Refusing to ask for help limits our opportunities to learn from others. Collaboration and guidance can provide valuable insights and foster personal development. 
3. Weakened Relationships: By not allowing others to support us, we miss out on the chance to build deeper connections. Trust and mutual assistance are foundational to strong relationships. 
4. Decreased Efficiency: Attempting to tackle complex problems alone can be less efficient than seeking help. Collaboration often leads to more effective and innovative solutions.





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Hello I’m Marc the creator of the Reset-it program and a TedX speaker.


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May 10, 2024
The State of Presence: Liberation from Programming, Conditioning, and Beliefs